Bonfire Heart

“Everybody wants a flame, but they don’t want to get burnt
And today is our turn

Days like these lead to
Nights like this leads to
Love like ours
You light the spark in my bonfire heart
People like us, we don’t need that much
Just someone that starts, starts the spark in our bonfire hearts”

Bonfire Heart – James Blunt

While we are growing up we are often told we can do anything we want to and we easily believe our parents or teachers who encourage us to dream of doing great things. It’s not uncommon to think about a life for ourselves where people across New Zealand and indeed across the world will know our name. Whether we dream of being singers or actors, politicians or humanitarians, we dream of a world in which we made a significant change in the public’s eye and impacted the lives of many, many people.

Of course, as we grow older it becomes apparent only a handful of people can ever become those who everyone knows. As a young twenty something I know there are still many years ahead of me in which I could become part of that small handful. I doubt I’d break through as a singer or actor (mostly due to a lack of talent in those areas), but maybe I’ll be a famous writer one day, or perhaps by chance fall in love with someone famous (like Ryan Gosling).  As I think about this world in which I could be a part of, I wonder if I need such a complication in my life. You constantly read about how difficult it can be to live in the public eye where everyone wants a piece of you.

I wonder if all I need is someone, or a small group of people who make me feel happy and accepted in the world. This is what Bonfire Heart makes me think about; whether I need everyone to know my name, or just one person who can light a spark in my life. While it would be nice to have money, expensive assets and famous friend, but I wonder whether I need it. The line “people like us, we don’t need that much” stood out for me as I quite like the idea of a more simple life where I don’t need much apart from a bit of love.

Don’t think I am discouraging people from following dreams to become famous or be a person who makes a change, nor saying being successful and having a spark in your life are mutually exclusive. Rather, I encourage some thinking from you, and especially those around my age who are embarking on the big bad world, to find their flame without getting too burnt. 

Bones

“And all I've ever wanted was for your damn arms
To wrap themselves around me and say

Hey, girl you're the prettiest thing my eyes have ever seen
Come and lay your bones down with me
Come and lay your bones down with me”

Bones – Ginny Blackmore

Last week Ginny Blackmore tweeted “Bones def might be a SMIDGE needy. And place heaps of value on ur man fainting at the sight of ur beauty. But seriously, please faint”. Despite the high radio play and many YouTube views this song has had a fair bit of criticism from reviewers. Blogs and articles call it cringy, charmless and lacking self-respect. I get why these kind of responses are coming out – in a nutshell, women shouldn’t place so much value on a man thinking she is beautiful, because that is not what a 21^st century female should be wanting. This kind of thinking is feminism, and feminism drives me quite mad.

Before I go any further let me make a disclaimer: the rest of this blog is all my thoughts. I’m not going to reference anything as that would be a long and complicated process which I cannot be bothered going through. But hear me out: I am all for gender equality. I think men and women should be offered the same working opportunities at equal pay rates. But not because of different body parts, but rather as human beings neither gender should be more or less capable then the other.

It is the hatred against the focus on physical looks which feminists have which annoys me. In this day and age women are expected to put brains and career ambition first, and focus less on which men think of us. We are meant to get outraged at videos which show females as sexual objects and be against apps such as Tinder which base females simply on who is hot.

But what is a better feeling - being outraged or the feeling of a male saying you look beautiful? Ladies reading this take a minute and think about this: how often do you dress up and make yourself pretty? Do you or do you not, want a man to look at you’re and think you are beautiful and take you home and, quite frankly, have sex with you?  You probably do, because that is normal. I have put on my cute outfit, done my hair and make-up, and gone out to have a good time. And a guy decided I was the one he wanted to take home, and I felt a little bit of pride that I was the he took home.

We women are made out of so many amazing parts; we can be strong, smart and sexy, and I think it is okay to show each part of us. We should be proud of showing off our looks and the time it takes to create them. Ginny Blackmore got it right: it would be nice if men got light headed over the sight of our beauty, but not because we are shallow and needy, but rather because we are proud and self-confident. 

Loved You First

“Because I've been waiting
All this time to finally say it
But now I see your heart's been taken
And nothing could be worse.
Baby, I loved you first.
Had my chances,
Could have been where he is standing.
That's what hurts the most.
Girl, I came so close
But now you'll never know,
Baby, I loved you first.”

Loved You First – One Direction

Five good looking young British boys crooning about a female makes for typical boy band behaviour. I shamelessly have both One Direction albums and I can vouch that every song on it is about a girl. Much like their predecessors Backstreet Boys and *Nsync, these 1D boys thrive, and let’s be honest, survive, by taking turns to sing lyrics about girls they saw / loved / lost.

But, as I typically do with most music, I saw beyond this simplistic idea. Of all the songs on both One Direction albums Loved You First stood out for me. The concept of this song is nothing new; you meet someone you take fancy to but before you can tell them you love them they slip away. 

As a society we have developed more than what could have been imaginable say, fifty years ago. We have seen the first African American be elected President of the United States. In New Zealand we now allow gay and lesbian couples to get married. And technology advances must go well beyond what our grandparents must have thought: we can communicate in an instance without having to see the other person and we can not only travel across our wonderful world, but we have the ability to send people into space. We have developed immunisation against diseases which once wiped out hundreds of people. We have the fastest runners in history, and never before have we seen our athletes jump so high and throw so far. Yes, if we take an overarching look at our society we have it pretty good.

And yet, we struggle to tell someone we love them.

It seems while we are developing our technology and socio status we haven’t managed to develop our emotional side. It is hard to tell other people our feelings as we still fear rejection and failure. We put more trust into technology and infrastructure and medicine then we put into our own feelings. It’s a bit ironic really, because without love and the special someone half our advances would be redundant. There are obviously people who have risked their feelings as happy marriage photos constantly pop up on Facebook feeds, but I can’t help but feel if boy bands are still singing about lost love then it is a problem. I just question this: amidst all our other developments and achievements will we ever be able to move past our own emotional restraints? 

Acapella

“Used to be a baby, used to be a lady
Thought you were the perfect lover
All the harmony went falling out of key, so
Now you gotta find another
Now you’re talking crazy saying that you made me
Like I was your Cinderella
You and me are through, though, watch me hit it solo
I’mma do it acapella”

Acapella – Karmin

I spend a lot of time listening to music and thinking beyond what I’m simply hearing. I love messages in songs. I like the way they challenge society and encourage us to change. And I like metaphors which run through whole songs and tell you a message without being explicit.

I really like the message in Acapella. I think the metaphor is relatively clever: a girl decides she doesn’t need this shitty guy so she’s going solo and doing her thing without him in the background. Lines like “all the harmony went falling out of key” and “watch me hit it solo” and the bit in the middle where Amy actually goes acapella before she brings the beat back all bring together that musical theme. The metaphor ties music in with music in a smart way and does not leave the listener at all confused with the message. I like it a lot.

Therefore, it’s such a shame this song sounds worse than fingernails down a chalkboard and cats screeching in the middle of the night mixed together. I cringe when I listen to and resented having to listen a through a few times while writing this. I don’t quite get what she is doing with her voice, and indeed, quite how she manages to get her voice to make such strange noises i.e. those falsetto bits. And there is actually a lyric which says “totes believe”. TOTES BELIEVE. This should only be used by teenage girls, or in full irony.

My point is this: Acapella started with such promise and on paper it looks fantastic and clever, but it’s execution into a product is poor. Ideas are great. Ideas are what make us think of new products and how to improve lives. But making these ideas a reality is much harder and often the final product is nothing near what we originally imagined it would be. You’ve most likely had this happen to you and it’s frustrating; I know I’ve tried to convince people I know exactly what I mean in my head but can’t properly convey it into something physical.

This is the part of my blog where I would usually wrap up with something positive. But today I am stumped. I started writing this post a few weeks ago and had to leave it unfinished for a while because I couldn’t figure out how to end it. And I still can’t. I have no advice on this matter – I think the sad truth might just be there are simply going to be times when no one else will see the full potential of our ideas.