In a Song

“It's alright,
It's this goodbye
Won't hurt me for too long
I'll be fine on my own
It'll take some time, but I know that I
I can find where I belong
And I'll find it in a song”

In a Song – Hunter Hayes

I’ve always been into finding new artists and discovering music. I typically discover new artists by their song being played on on the radio or watching on a show like The X Factor or at the suggestion of a friend. My latest music discovery is Hunter Hayes, who I found in a slightly less conventional way – that is, I saw his display in a Walmart in Yuma, Arizona, and when I came back to New Zealand looked him up because I thought he looked like an alright artist. Okay, I thought he was cute. Really cute. And you can’t have bad music if you’re really cute, right?

I listened to a few tracks off his self-titled debut album and thought I must have this all the time. I bought the entire album, Encore edition, and have since listened to it nearly every day. A few days ago I would’ve written it’s the best album I have heard in a while, but then I discovered Hunter Hayes has a second album that is as good (and maybe in a different blog I will address that New Zealand is still six months behind discovering artists have new music). I have always been hesitant to get into country music as it is such a big beast and I wouldn’t know where to start. I wish I had started listening to country music much earlier; there is something in this type of music that speak s to me – the honesty and tenderness, and the lack of trying to make a song edgy for the sake of it becoming popular.

I could easily write a blog about every one of Hunter Hayes’ songs. I could write about being swept off your feet like in Storm Warning. I could write about everything going wrong but keeping positive like in Faith to Fall Back On. I could write about going an adventure like Better Than This or creating a life with someone like in Storyline or I could tackle a heavy issue like bullying as written about in Invisible. But when I mapped out what I would write I kept realising one common thing: every song had an answer within it.

In a Song talks about what I believe in with music – that when all is lost, the music will be there. I search for answers in music when I’ve been hurt or I’ve hurt myself, when I feel lost or confused or when I have so much going on I need to find a release. When I have my iPod plugged in I go to a different place, my happy place, with my music. I’ve walked away from relationships knowing that I have my music and have my blog to make me feel better; I may harp on about some problematic guy in a post, but after it’s been written the hurt goes away.

Discovering Hunter Hayes’ music has made for a great past few months. In my mind I have pulled apart all his songs and taken what I need from them. This is the kind of artist I want to go on an adventure with; I want to follow his music for as long as his career spans and every song he releases I want to feel something from. One day I will see him live in concert, and it will be so exciting. And I will look up at all 1.68m of him and secretly smile at how my love of his music started in a Walmart.

Take a Walk

“Honey it's your son I think I borrowed just too much
We had taxes, we had bills, we had a lifestyle of fun
And tonight I swear I'll come home and we'll make love like we're young
Then tomorrow you'll cook dinner for the neighbours and their kids
We can rip apart those socialists and all their damn taxes
But see I am no criminal
I'm down on both bad knees
I'm just too much a coward to admit when I'm in need

I took a walk

Take a walk, take a walk, take a walk”

Take a Walk – Passion Pit

On first listen to Take a Walk it’s hard to understand exactly what this song is about. I read an interesting article where Michael Angelakos, Passion Pit’s lead singer, was nervous to release this song as a single because he thought it would be interpreted as political statement. Rather, he says, Take A Walk is about three generations of his family at different and rather difficult times of their lives. After I listened to this song a few more times I begun to hear the struggles in the stories of these men. One of the stories stood out to me – it’s the story that I chose for the above excerpt of the song – and, one very specific line caught my attention over and over again:

I'm just too much a coward to admit when I'm in need

Yes, that line. Read it again.

I'm just too much a coward to admit when I'm in need

I'm just too much a coward to admit when I'm in need

This could be one of the most significant lines I have ever heard in a song. I think nearly everyone would be able to admit they have done this. They have acted like nothing is wrong in their lives because they were ashamed or afraid of the backlash they would receive, because our society still connects being in need with being weak.

I’ve done this on so many occasions I have lost count of the number of times I could have used some help. I’ll share with you the most recent time I needed help but didn’t get some. I was in San Francisco and struggling with the death of a new friend. It was a really bizarre situation, being away from home with people I hardly knew and dealing with such an emotional burden. I felt like I had no one to talk to and I wanted to be alone – but that didn’t mean that I was okay. I didn’t want to admit that I was still struggling while I watched my fellow travellers move on and enjoy their trip. I also knew that when I left San Francisco and got back to the comfort of my own home I would be fine. But there were 48 hours or so where I spend a good deal of time in the hotel room alternating crying and sleeping and feeling at a very low point of my life.

When I think back on this time, and other times I never asked for help, I guess I felt like I could handle it myself and I felt like my problem wasn’t really a big deal. But sometimes, no matter how big or small, you need someone else’s help. I wish it weren’t a thing to have to put aside your tough guy persona to ask for help, and I wish it didn’t feel like others were judging your weaknesses for admitting you have a problem. But then I think this idea is just in our own heads – that we feel like people will judge, when in reality they won’t, they will just help. And they won’t let you take the walk alone.