Make you Mine vs Tommy and Krista

“Cause there's a thousand ways
and a thousand times
That I could try to say
I will make you mine
And if it's not today
I'm gonna keep on trying
I'm gonna get there I'm gonna get there
I'm gonna make you mine”

Make You Mine – Benny Tipene

VS

 “Well Tommy never turned to aggression nor fear
Instead he started working in the New Year
But at night she'd invade his thoughts and his dreams
He can't keep his mind away from Krista it seems
And, so cold but funny enough
Krista and her boyfriend were broken up
But until they meet again and the time feels right
This is how it ends tonight
This is how it ends tonight”

Tommy and Krista – ThirstyMerc

I’ve had two very conflicting thoughts about a certain topic for a little while now. In an attempt to sort out my thoughts for the first time on this blog I’m going to put two songs head to head: two songs that describe but handle differently what is going through my head. If you’re one of my wonderful regular readers you may remember back to Don’t Say Goodnight which was about having one chance you have to take. But I’ve been thinking lately what if you don’t just get one chance with someone? What if you can’t be together but you think you should? I’ve come to realize you have two choices: you can either follow the words of Benny Tipene or ThirstyMerc.

Let’s start with Make You Mine. It seems most tempting to pursue someone. Although we go through our normal day to day lives I suspect most of us fantasize about a better, more exciting life. Most of the time that little fantasy includes a special someone, perhaps someone you only had a chance to get to know a little bit but made a lasting impression on you. And we only get one life so why not do everything you can to make someone your own? You could chase them down to tell the how you feel, you could drop every thing you have and do something completely irrational like follow them to the other end of your country or to the other side of the world. You could do all this just to be together, just to tell them they mean everything to you and start to live out your fantasies.

But what if it’s not your time to be together, like the story in Tommy and Krista. Most of my experience with this kind of thing is where the other person has moved away. I think that if someone travels to the other side of the world then they need to go, and they need to go alone. They are on a personal journey and it’s not my time to be in their lives. Instead maybe it’s better to leave things where you ended and go on with your own life and hope that one day your time works out and you get to be together. There’s a line in Tommy and Krista which has stood out to me from the first time I heard the song “until they meet again and the time feels right / this is how it ends tonight”. I think if something is meant to be then your life finds a way of bringing it to you, and I’ve talked to many people who agree that life has a way of working itself out.

I’ve always followed the idea in Tommy and Krista and let someone go because I don’t think it’s my right to stop them. But in some ways I’ve sacrificed my happiness to be selfless, and I’m kind of sick of it. Maybe it’s my time to start chasing and stop letting people go. I’m going throw this one out to you in the first ever blog war. Pick a song to side with. Share an opinion. Tell you stories about whether you decided to chase or decided to wait. And help me figure out what to do.

Sugarpills

“So long all the sugarpills and alcohol
These scars are the stumbling eyes and cold reminders

So long all the sugarpills and alcohol
These scars are the stumbling eyes and cold reminders

I will become undone and then I'll write about it
You'll be the one to lose control

I will become undone and then I'll write about it
You'll be the one to lose control”

Sugarpills – Kids of 88

Did you know I did a Contiki around USA last month? Okay, I realise I’ve spent a lot of time talking about it and sharing many photos, and you’ve probably got FOMO and want me to stop mentioning my trip. But the trip has been the source of a lot of blogging inspiration and I want to share another memory with you. If you read On Top of the World you’ll recall I wrote about becoming quite emotional after singing with my Contiki group as a tribute to Clarissa. I remember going outside and crying and not being able to explain why I was so upset. It wasn’t until a week after this night I got the chance to write and post that blog and I felt incredibly relieved at getting those thoughts down after having them nag me for seven days.

I’ve always been a writer and a storyteller. My computer folders are littered with half finished writing projects and over a hundred of these music blogs. I’ve explained before why I started this blog – a mixture of wanting to focus writing and of having ideas about songs – and as I wrote about in Demons this blog became very important to me. I have a note on my phone that I wrote shortly after having my breakdown at Bass Lake. I remember typing it furiously and getting all that emotion out while a new friend sat opposite me and probably wondered what the heck I was up to. But after I had written what became the basis for my second USA blog I was able to go back to the dance floor and have a great night. I chose Sugarpills this week because I think it sums up these blogs rather well: when life becomes undone I write about it.

I want to focus on the line “you’ll be the one to lose control” for a moment. I draw most of my inspiration from my peers and sometimes they don’t know their experiences with me have influenced my writing. I was questioned just last week by a friend about what I wrote about them and I realised certain people may not like being at the receiving end of my comments. Some of the people I write about will disagree with what I write, or potentially worse, not know my true feelings until I put up a new post. But I write this blog primarily for my own personal reflection and I’m prepared to risk my peers losing control if it means I feel better.  

Shortly after I came back from my trip one of the guys I had met messaged me and asked about my blog and mentioned he’d lost interest in writing his blog because not enough people read it. I told him I never cared about number of viewers or whether people liked it, I was just wanted to write. This blog is a place I can be brutally honest with myself and share thoughts I may not usually say out loud. As I’ve said before, I’m going to write this blog until I run out of ideas or run out of songs. And if you think about it, there are millions of songs and I’m telling you know that I’ve got millions of ideas.