Monday 22 June 2015

Unpretty

"You can buy your hair if it won't grow
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the make up that M.A.C. can make
But if you can't look inside you
Find out who am I too
Be in the position to make me feel so
Damn unpretty
I'll make you feel unpretty too"

Unpretty - TLC

Last year, during the four months when I more or less ran away from New Zealand, I spent some time with my aunt and uncle in Queensland. It was a strange meeting of sorts - we had been distant for many years as a result of busy schedules and a large body of water between us. We reconnected a few years ago and I thought I would pop in during my travels around Australia. Well, a 'pop in' quickly turned into slumming it on their air mattress for three weeks and doing nothing useful while I killed time before flying onto my next destination. While I was there I did manage to learn a few things - how to cook some stuff, how to look after chickens, how people in Queensland go about their business and how many triple chocolate biscuits I can eat before I start to feel sick. 

On a more serious note, my aunt - who is the biggest free spirit I have ever met - took me through joyful learning experiences, because that's what she is good at doing. We talked about how to bring joy into your life and how to get rid of pesky things like worry and stress. There was one thing she said and it has stuck with me since: to help her bring more joy she treats her mind like another person. At first I thought that was quite a strange concept, but then I thought some more and realised what she was getting at.

It's about respecting your mind, and therefore, yourself. When you think bad thoughts about yourself and about your life, you are allowing negativity in. As TLC say, you could look in the mirror and think that you are damn unpretty. But here's the kicker: you would never look at your friend and say "damn you're unpretty". We spend so much time pouring compliments onto other people that we forget about ourselves or worse, we don't think we deserve the same kindness.

So be a bit nicer to yourself. Treat yourself how you would treat other people. Don't call yourself unpretty. Kick your nasty habits that don't do you any good. It's like our good friends TLC say - you can change your outside all you want but you still need to look inside you and find your inner prettiness.




Sunday 7 June 2015

Haven't Met You Yet

"I might have to wait, I'll never give up
I guess it's half timing and the other half's luck
Wherever you are, whenever it's right
You'll come out of nowhere and into my life

And I know that we can be so amazing
And baby your love is gonna change me
And now I can see every possibility

Somehow I know that it’ll all turn out
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And promise you kid I'll give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet"


Haven't Met You Yet - Michael Buble 

A few days ago I was in the car with my friend, on our way to the Coromandel for the weekend, when we started talking about the perfect partners for our each of our friends. We had fun coming up with different qualities a partner must have and what they could bring to our group of friends. And then my friend turned to me and said "and what about you?" 

Oh, how this got me thinking. We live in a world where meeting someone and dating is literally at your finger tips - or, more accurately, a right swipe away. I've given Tinder a go but never went on any dates because, well, I got over the app pretty quickly. The last use my Tinder account got was when my friends got ahold of it and went on a swipe right spree, resulting in a lot of matches and zero conversations on my behalf. I'm sorry, boys of Tauranga, that was my gay friend who was deciding for me. 

My mother says I'm picky, my mates from school say I get bored easily and my bestie said I deserve someone special. They're all correct on some levels. I have a short list of qualities I want in a man but they're nothing extreme - I'm not going to demand he speaks eight languages and cooks me Italian food every night. Of course I want to be entertained in lots of different ways but I'm also sure I could get accustomed to the routine, everyday life of relationships. And hell yeah, I deserve someone special. 

Eventually, I turned back to my friend and said something like "I'm quite certain that one day I will meet the perfect man and that will be it. Until then I won't bother stressing out about it." 

And this is true. Sure, I've met a lot of guys over the years and I haven't yet found one worth keeping around, but this doesn't get me down. I don't sit at home waiting for Prince Charming to turn up on my doorstep.  I get out and about; I go out with friends, I travel to new cities and I go on living my single life. 

And I will keep doing this until I have my Michael Buble moment and meet the perfect man. Maybe he'll be a complete stranger. Maybe he'll be someone I've known for a long time but suddenly see in a new light. Maybe I'll find him in my hometown or maybe we will meet in a foreign land. Maybe he'll be Corey Anderson. Whoever he is, he'll come, and I'll give it all I've got.